Hint: it’s NOT for your guys.

Because we live in a fabulously patriarchal society that isn’t just everything about in females’s empowerment, we find our selves in a place where ladies pleasure is actually seldom (if ever) focused around conversations about sex. We especially cannot speak about ladies’ sexuality to be focused on enjoyment. In many cases, its centered on the gratification of men.

What exactly happens when we talk about ladies just who sleep along with other women? Discover a hint: we simply don’t talk about it whatsoever. And, when we carry out, we once again center it on male satisfaction.

Since this rad patriarchal community doesn’t want to talk about women’s pleasure, and ladies pleasuring additional ladies, we will talk about just that—and tear on the infamous myths regarding girl-on-girl hookups.

1. All we carry out is go down for each other.

Heading down. Eating at restaurants. Or, the sexiest solution to say it—cunnilingus. If we are not scissoring in porno (we will reach that subsequent), we are consuming one another out. It-all relates to preference! There’s really no rulebook that states queer ladies need to go upon both all the time. Some people really don’t enjoy it anyway, and that is fine. Nobody features sex the same way! That is why its very fun to talk about.

2. Oh, and scissoring. Really scissoring.

Scissoring is sort of hilarious as it doesn’t work for everybody. I am aware some partners just who swear by it and others which try it and simply find yourself laughing and doing something otherwise. It is rather a lot considering anatomy—remember, not absolutely all genitals are the same!—and inclination. We know by now that most lesbians in pornography are actually direct women performing for males, correct? Thus possibly don’t use porno for queer lady gender guidelines. But, if you prefer scissoring about menu, next by all means, select it now and then.

3. We do it for guys.

Simply, no. We get it done for ourselves. Subsequent concern.

4. Strap-ons tend to be an urban legend.

When direct people ask me personally about strap-ons, they whisper the term like they can be advising me personally a spooky myth they been aware of once-over a camp flame. Some people like strap-ons. Some people dislike all of them. Many of us utilize them once in a bit. Plus, some straight couples are totally into it. If you’re therefore fascinated, offer ‘em a shot!

5. among you is continually sporting a snapback.

This is a funnier one, however for whatever reason there is this concept that, in a queer few, one individual must use a snapback. There is nothing wrong with snapbacks. I do believe they’re hot. But they aren’t necessary for sexual climaxes, cool as they can be.

6. We constantly climax.

I’m going to let you in on a secret: the idea that most queer women would is actually have intercourse and climax for hours on end and do not have terrible, uncomfortable, stumbly intercourse? It’s an overall total, massive lie. We possibly may both be women, but that doesn’t mean we are mirror pictures of each and every some other. Not all ladies are exactly the same or react in the same way to particular stimuli. Figures cannot all get down with the exact same intercourse things, plus some individuals like items that other individuals could not, actually take to. Exactly like some other partners, women that date ladies need to use time and energy to figure out what each other likes.

After which its all sexual climaxes all the time. (only kidding.)

7. We’re anti-penis.

Alright, it is the right time to talk about this. Plenty of lesbians during the news (and, well, in true to life) choose joke about how a lot they just dislike penises and how they are simply thus gay they’d never be able to get straight down with cock. Nevertheless issue listed here is it’s transphobic as hell to behave like all females have actually vaginas, and only guys have actually penises. No one’s proclaiming that you must sleep with anyone you dont want to make love with, but we’ve got to stop caught badmouthing penises constantly. They truly are merely genitals! They don’t do just about anything completely wrong.

Plus, this perpetuates the idea that every queer women are lesbians. Some people tend to be ace, some people are bi, most are skillet, some are simply ol’ queer, etc… We’re complex, therefore’ve got to end perpetuating strange BS like this.

8. We have now never been with a guy.

Heading off of that final point, not totally all queer women are merely thinking about sex with women. Many of us have acquired intercourse with men. Many of us have had gender with non-binary and genderqueer folks. Many of us have never had sex with anybody but women, but still ID as bi or cooking pan. It’s legitimate, no matter.

No matter how we become down and dirty, we’re just who we say we are. Believe you. No one is any significantly less queer caused by the way they get laid.